So It Doesn't Hurt
by Takianna
Summary: After holding Fives as he died, Captain Rex is asked to perhaps pay the ultimate price


Rex stood silently, hand tucked neatly into the small of his back, knuckles facing his back creating a reassuring pressure there. His bucket was tucked under his right arm, held at approximately waist height, arm dangling over the top with hand clenched, holding it tight against his hip. His feet were shoulder width apart and his brown eyes were facing forward, staring at a small point on the gray/white walls in the hall that no one would ever be able to perceive, but Rex saw it.

This was how a soldier stood. This was where Rex found himself now, waiting outside of the door to a conference room where inside the Generals were discussing what had happened.

Fives had gone berserk. His ramblings, about chips and a plot which went to all the way to the Chancellor, seemed to shake both General Skywalker and General Kenobi, but Rex was the most shaken, although his posture and position now belyed what was happening inside of him. Rex could feel his guts churning just at the thought of everything that had transpired.

_Those brothers had just watched as the man they shot, died in my arms._ Rex felt the panic rising in him again as he tried to push it aside, with very little success. There he was again, holding Fives as he continued to babble about a plot to destroy the jedi. Truly the ravings of someone who had lost their mind, or were they?

Rex had doubted everything since Hardcase had been taken in Kamino. Hearing Fives ramble about what he had found while on the planet receiving medical treatment, only made Rex question more fervently what had been happening to the clones since their inception. What had the Kaminoans been putting inside of human bodies to bend them to their will and was it now backfiring?

He never believed that there was a chip to alter aggression and make the clones more compliant with orders. It was just another cover story which the Kaminoans were so good at creating. Rex could think for himself and sometimes he decided that orders were not all they cracked up to be. That was free thinking, wasn't it or was he merely a product of a genetic code which needed to be aggressive?

Rex didn't want to think about it and he concentrated harder on the spot on the wall, hoping that it would wash away all the things he was feeling and the doubts inside of him.

He was a good soldier.

The door next to him whispered open and Rex heard booted feet against the decking. He was sure it was General Skywalker without even turning his head. They had been in battle so much together that Rex could almost sense his presence.

"Captain Rex," Skywalker's voice rang out. Rex snapped his feet together and lowered his hand, standing at attention. He executed a sharp left face and was face-to-face with the General. The look on his face was grim, but Rex still believed he didn't know the weight of what was happening. Everything was grim when it came to war.

"We have some questions for you," the General said stepping back to make room for Rex to enter the door. The room was very quiet and the lights had been dimmed to almost a twilight level. There were several blue shimmering holo-projections around the main table and Rex knew that he was about to be grilled by the entire council. He wasn't nervous.

This was serious and Rex felt the weight of the situation drop onto his shoulders. His answers would be very significant to whatever actions they were wanting to take. This might mean everything to his brothers and what their fate would be.

"We never had this conversation," General Kenobi said as Rex approached the table and stood at ease, as he had in the hall. It was the appropriate way to stand during briefings. The Kaminoans had made sure that every single military etiquette had been programmed into the men.

"Understood," Rex said not feeling as though his voice sounded as commanding as it normally did in these situations. He had been privy to many conversations that never happened. This was just another in a list of secrets that he had been imparted with during the war, he reminded himself.

"What happened today is a very unnerving situation," General Kenobi began looking grimly at Rex. "General Skywalker believes that Fives was telling the truth."

"I think he was too, sir," Rex said as the General paused, leaving him room to acknowledge what he had said.

"General Skywalker believes that you are the key in this," Kenobi said looking at Rex as though he could see his soul. "He thinks that we can trust you."

"You can, sir," Rex said. He had been trained to be trustworthy and be able to advise the Generals. Rex knew that they were not militarily minded and the Kaminoans had been smart enough to prepare the commanding clones for their role with the jedi.

"We want to look inside your head," General Skywalker said bluntly moving past all of the rhetoric. That was how Skywalker normally worked. He wasn't as delicate as Kenobi, but still a very capable leader. Rex always knew where he stood with General Skywalker.

"I understand, sir," he shrugged. If they ordered it, he would obey, but this was about far more than just following orders for Rex. This was about brothers turning on brothers. That was something that made Rex sick to his stomach and whatever he could do to end it, he would do.

The tension in the room mounted as the silence grew thick between those physically present and those who were elsewhere in the galaxy. The clone felt as though the tension was pressing against his chest plate, leaving him little room to breathe.

"Permission to speak freely," Rex said. Usually he knew that he could speak his mind, but with all the members of the council present, he felt as though he should hold his tongue until given permission by either General Kenobi or General Skywalker.

"Go ahead," General Skywalker said letting out a sigh.

"Will this kill me?"

Clones were always taught that they were expendable, but that didn't mean that clones didn't discuss their mortality. No matter what training was placed into them, clones were still mere copies of a human. Humans had faults such as fearing death and wanting to know what their life really meant in the great scheme of things. Clones had the same quirks, but they were buried much further under the surface, hiding behind the facade of being impeccable soldiers. If he was going to agree to this operation, Rex wanted to know what his chances were in the end.

"We aren't removing it," General Skywalker said crossing his arms over his chest. "We merely want to observe it and see if there is anyway to turn it off."

"Won't I end up just like Fives if you turn it off?" Rex asked looking at the General squarely.

"We don't know," the jedi finally said and sighed as though this was a heavy weight he was carrying. Rex looked around at all the jedi who were there, in any form, and realized that they all looked very tired.

These were people who were not meant for war and it showed.

"I'll do it anyway," Rex said and looked at General Skywalker.

"I don't agree," the General said.

"Anakin," General Kenoi said raising a hand as if they have had this argument before, "we've talked about this and Captain Rex is the best candidate. He can be trusted and he is one of the first batches to come out of the cloning complex for the Republic."

"Commander Cody is also one of the first clones to come out of that batch," General Skywalker shot back. "Why isn't he being considered?"

"We need a back-up," Kenobi said as though this had been talked about a million times before Rex even entered the room and from the heated glances, he was sure that it had been.

"You need Cody to take over the 501st," Rex said trying to stop an argument before it started. He knew it was true and really held no thoughts that he was better than Cody. They were both very capable clones. The jedi would try with the most trusted of the command clones and the ones that were closest to them in proximity. If Rex were to die, Cody would then take over the 501st until someone could be trained to take Rex's place. Then they would try again with Cody.

"No one is taking over the 501st," General Skywalker said shooting a look in Rex's direction, fire in his eyes. Rex wondered if he felt as though Rex would be offended by someone taking over his men. That was not the clone way, but it still hurt.

"I know what this means General Skywalker," Rex said. "I might not be able to function after this and I might have to be killed … just like Fives."

"You might," General Kenobi said quietly, always the more gentle of the Generals in speech and action. Rex knew that the clones respected Kenobi very much. He was the ice to Skywalker's fire and they worked so well together.

Rex would take whatever measures needed to be taken. This was something they would have to figure out because the largest weapon of the Republic may just turn on them, if Fives was right. He had been created to protect the Republic and he always knew that death would be inevitable in service to it. This would not be the most optimal way for him to die, laying on a medical table, but it was still a hero's death in it's own way.

"Agreed, we are," one of the holo-projections spoke. Rex was sure that it was Master Yoda who guided the jedi as their leader, but he couldn't be sure.

General Skywalker placed a hand on Rex's pauldron and looked him in the eyes. It was uncomfortable because Rex always felt like Skywalker was trying to see beyond the outside, reading his soul.

"Is there anyone you want to talk to before we take you to the medbay?" the General asked in his own caring way.

Rex's eyes dropped as he thought. That was a very strange request indeed because usually the clones' feelings weren't something that anyone, but other brothers, thought about.

"It's not the clone way," Rex said finally. He was prepared to go to whatever awaited him alone, just as he had entered the world.


End file.
